I'm often asked, "So, what exactly can you do with that degree?" In all honestly, I don't have a damn clue. Half of the time I can't even explain what classes are in the curriculum. With me being a senior (sort-of), I should have some idea of what I am going to do when I get out of this cesspool the rest of the world calls college. Here are my top ideas.
1. Forensic Scientist/Anthropologist
This career choice is highly influenced by the hit television series Bones. I do realize that I should have a degree in anthropology to seriously pursue this, but chances are, I'll get bored with it like I do everything else.
2. Policewoman/FBI Agent
I came to the conclusion that I would like to be a police officer when I was on a trip to Orlando, FL with a friend. We had a little accident leaving Universal Studios, and it took the Orlando Police Department over two hours to respond to the scene, even after 3 or 4 phone calls to the station. Oh, and did I mention that there was a cop across the median at the time of the wreck?! Yeah, that's the kind of job I want. I'm really good at driving fast and eating doughnuts, and if what I see on television and/or Orlando is accurate, I would be a great police officer!
FBI agent just sounds cool.
3. Dolphin Tail Maker
You may laugh reading this, but this could actually be relevant. The movie Dolphin Tales is about a doctor or engineer or something that builds a prosthetic tail for a dolphin. I saw a commercial for this movie tonight and decided this could be a contender for a future profession.
4. SNL Writer
I've watched over 20 years of Saturday Night Live since Christmas, and I think I have developed a satirical wit similar to the writers in the late 90's and early 2000's. And honestly, who wouldn't want to do this job?! No, I may not be a household name or even be seen in front of the camera, but my words could! I could be the mastermind behind a Spartan Cheerleaders equivalent! Who'll be the Spartan in your TV? It's me! It's me!
5. Dentist
Good money, set my own hours, low liability.
Down side--more school.
So, what's probably going to happen is that I'll graduate, move back to Fulton, teach physics or biology at the high school and be a coach of some sort. Television will suck because I won't be writing. Itawamba residents will continue to have poor dental hygiene. Murders will remain unsolved. High school students will continue to spray paint their graduation years on road signs. And a dolphin will swim around in circles because no one will create a prosthetic to replace its injured flipper.
One day I will be forced to make a decision. Until then, I will continue to draw ideas from television characters.
I don't see a cool English career on here at all. I have decided that you shall be a rapper, and we will call you White Chocolate. You will hit the airwaves with a duet with Katy Perry first. Then, you will surpass her shining star and release your own album. Later, you will become addicted to smack, as all rappers do. You will appear on Celebrity Rehab. After getting clean, you will realize that you were always meant to be an English teacher. You will live happily ever after. The end.
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