Breaking Yawn: Part 1

I hope this doesn't damage my street cred any more than my serenade of Justin Bieber songs did: I watched the Twilight movie. And I was not disappointed. It was equally as mediocre as I had imagined. The acting was poor; the 25 minute story-line was stretched 92 minutes too long, and Jacob only took his shirt off once. However, I was in wonderful company, so I had a great time despite the film.

Here are a few things that stood out to me...

Hey, Kristen. How much did you make on the last two movies? According to my good friends at Wikipedia, the series has grossed 1.8 BILLION dollars. I realize you don't get all of that money, but a mere .1% of the total income gives you 1.8 million. That's a lot of cash money. So, don't you think you could buy a $1 box of dental floss? The plaque buildup between your teeth has resulted in some noticeable staining. And don't vampires rely on their teeth to do whatever it is that they do? Dental hygiene is a big deal, and if you want those chompers much longer, you better start practicing it.

Now, I don't want to spoil anything for you readers out there who haven't seen the movie and who are actually interested in it for more than an afternoon out of the house. However, I do have to point out one part of the movie that made me giggle. When all of the werewolves were in the screaming match at the lumberyard, the scene reminded me of an old Power Rangers episode but with better special effects. The dogs were growling and talking in human voices at the same time. That was impressive and confusing. I spent the majority of the scene trying to figure out how many sets of vocal cords those miraculous beasts have to multitask like that. I was just waiting for all of the dogs to morph into one growling, talking werewolf that would battle Rita Repulsa's alien army.

Like I said before, I didn't go into this movie with high hopes. I didn't jump on the bandwagon when the books were a hit, and I didn't jump on the bandwagon when the movies took over the world. I saw the second one just to see the shirtless boy with the tattoo, and I saw this one so I could hang out with some friends. All in all, it was a great way to spend the afternoon.

Oh, and if you want to see another blogger's take on the movie, here's a link to Jen Lancaster's blog.
http://www.jennsylvania.com/jennsylvania/2011/11/breaking-dawn-otherwise-known-as-a-ride-in-edwards-volvo.html