One Great Idea

Before all, I want to thank you all for helping me get birthday wishes from 9 of the 23 people on my list. That is 9 more than I ever thought that I could ever get.

Secondly, I'd like to thank the nine people on my list who gave me a shout out. You guys and gals are hilarious, kind, and thoughtful individuals, and I look up to you more now than before. This is for you.

This has been the wildest week in my life, but it has been wild in a good way. One of my friends who blogs religiously told me I needed to “storify” the past week, and that is what I intend to do-- if “storify” means put it in timeline form, that is. I hope you’ve eaten recently because this post is going to be wicked long, and I wouldn’t want you to starve while reading it. P.S. I've added a lot of hyperlinks in the text, and they are all wonderful. If you have the time, click on them and enjoy the extra material. 

Here’s a play-by-play of how I ended up having the most kick ass birthday in the history of birthdays, despite the fact that my mother wouldn't let me have a goat (and, yes, that includes the time I wrote a letter to the dolphin trainer that my mom read about in Reader’s Digest, and he invited me down to Gulfport, MS to feed the dolphins for my sixth birthday) The goat story will be told another day. And there will be video.

Tuesday—Nov. 20

I listened to this week’s episode of Comedy Bang Bang! for the second time, which just so happens to feature Lennon Parham. Sidenote, I had tweeted her and Scott Aukerman the day before about that episode, and Forsythia, Parham's character, dedicated a song  to me.

I’m pretty sure that I have listened to every Earwolf podcast that features her and Jessica St. Clair because they are all hilarious. You should do the same. Anywho, I had a little insomnia, so I started watching YouTube videos and found a 40+ minute video of Parham and St. Clair talking about Best Friends Forever. I thought to myself, “Hey, you know, it’d be really cool if I could be best friends with them.” BAM! The idea for my birthday challenge was incepted into my brain, and I posted it on the blog.

Wednesday—Nov. 21

9:00 am: I woke up to my friends already bombing the comedians with birthday shout-out requests

4:30 pm: I got home from work and saw that I had received tweets from Retta and Julie Klausner

5:08 pm: Chris Gethard called

5:10 pm: I hung up and proceeded to hyperventilate.

5:42 pm: Vacation Jason called

5:42 pm and 45 seconds: Riley broke character and introduced himself and made me want to hug him through the phone. He said he felt so honored to be on the list with so many funny people. I think he sells himself way too short. He’s hilarious. Watch this. 

8:00 pm: I headed to Tupelo to watch the Truth & Salvage show at Blue Canoe

9:30 pm: I danced my socks off

Thursday—Nov. 22

12:38 am: I got a mouth kiss from Truth & Salvage member Tim Jones

Tim Jones and myself after the show

11:30 am: I went to the assisted living home with my mom to eat lunch with my 98 year old grandmother (She’ll be 99 on Tuesday, y’all!)

12:30-3:30 pm: I took a nap. 

4:00-bedtime pm: I had Thanksgiving dinner with my brother, his wife, my sister and her husband and their herd of children. I played football with the little boys out in the yard for a little while. We all took a field trip up to the newly converted barn-to-cabin at my sister’s family’s farm. My brother-in-law told me we need to work on some Christmas decorations for one of his workers. (He wants to build elves out of rebar and put lights on them and have the lights flash so it will look like the elves are humping. I told him I could probably make it happen and that it could be my project for the rest of the holiday break.)

Friday—Nov. 23

9:30 am: Woke up and went to work where I painted the stripes on plywood candy canes

11:00 am: I left work because it’s my birthday. Shannon O’Neill tweeted.

1:50 pm: I designed a circuit for the humping elves. 

2:30-5:30 pm: I rode around town with my friend Jay, and we visited with high school friends.

5:38 pm: I received tweets from Jessica St. Clair and Lennon Parham saying that they have made a video for me. I watched it and literally cried from laughing and happiness.

6:42 pm: I drove to my parents’ and showed the video to my mom. She thought it was glorious and thinks the idea of famous people talking to a kid from Northeast Mississippi is awesome.

7:40 pm: I drove up to another friend's dad’s land for my bonfire party that she planned. I caught up with a lot of people I haven’t seen since I left for college. It was very nice talking with everyone and seeing what career paths everyone has followed. I kind of felt like a doop since I’m still in college, but maybe I’ll make the big bucks and cool stuff in biomedical engineering one day, and I can say that all this school is worth something.

11:50 pm: I got back to the parents’ and checked the mail for birthday gifts from my pal Bankard. He sent the poster that's at the bottom of the page. One day we were studying on the balcony of the biomed building, and he asked what I wanted for my golden birthday. I told him that the only appropriate golden birthday gift was a goose that laid golden eggs like the one in Willy Wanka. That’s why I now have a poster of a goose laying a golden egg.

11:55 pm: I checked my email and had this little baby waiting for me.

As evidenced by my tweets, Facebook statuses, and perpetual smile, the past couple of days have been amazing. I am so blessed to have friends who would bomb complete strangers’ social media accounts just to make my birthday wish come true.

I never would have imagined that the comedians who I idolize, and whose work I quote, would ever see this blog, tweet, call, or make a video in my honor.The internet is truly a wonderful invention. Thank you, Al Gore.

Once again, thanks for greatest day ever. I love you all. 

Oh, check out all my birthday gifts, y’all!

Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson; a graph paper Moleskin; some really butch work boots; Jason Isbell: Live in Alabama,;Jarritos grapefruit soda; a goose picture

More funny stuff from Twitter:

Golden Birthday Update

If you're reading this blog for the first time, you should really read Golden Birthday first, so you will know what is going on. If you're a vet, keep reading.

I really appreciate all the work you guys have done so far to make my birthday amazing. Below is the current list of celebs that haven't contacted me. I've also added their Twitter handles for your convenience. (And I've had some people say that they want to follow these 23 amazing individuals. Now you can!)

November 23rd, we're going in. We can do this, y'all.



1) Lennon Parham (Made a badass video)
2) Jessica St. Claire (Tweeted)
3) Shannon O'Neill (Tweeted)
4) Chris Gethard (Called) (Holds the No. 1 spot right now. Super nice guy.)
5) Vacation Jason (Called)
6) Ana Gasteyer (@AnaGasteyer)
7) Thomas Lennon (@thomaslennon)
8) Matt Besser (Tweeted)
9) Matt Walsh (@mrmattwalsh)
10) Andy Richter (@andy_richter)
11) Steve Martin (@stevemartintogo)
12) Scott Auckerman (@scottaukerman)
13) Julie Klausner (Tweeted)
14) Jason Mantzoukas (Emailed)
15) Kay Cannon (@kaykaycannon)
16) Paula Pell (@perlapell)
17) Retta (Tweeted)
18) Chris Pratt (@prattprattpratt)
19) John Lutz (@shutuplutz)
20) Jimmy Fallon (@jimmyfallon)
21) Ellen Degeneres (@theellenshow)
22) Sherri Shepherd (@sherriEshepherd)
23) Aziz Ansari (@azizansari)

Golden Birthday

This year is my golden birthday (23 on Nov. 23rd), and I've been racking my brain for the past month trying to figure out what I want to do to remember this occasion.

At first, I thought that I would steal Lea's idea and do 23 good things for people because what's bad about that idea? Nothing.

But I'm selfish and lazy, point blank. So, I've scratched that idea for this year, and I decided I'll do that one on my 25th birthday because that's a good, solid number--way cooler than 23, plus it's two more good deeds. Back to juicing the mindgrapes...

After a month of idea generating, I think I've figured it out, but I am going to need your help.

You guys know how I love comedy, right?! Yeah, that was a joke. OF COURSE YOU KNOW THAT!

For my 23rd birthday, I want my favorite 23 comedians to tweet/e-mail/IM/text/call me. This is how it's going to work:
a) You tweet/YouTube shout-out/Facebook/blog/stalk/call these folks and tell them that you want them to wish me a happy birthday.
b) They will all do it
c) I will be happy

Like the plan? Yeah, me too.

Here is the lucky list (in no particular order, other than the order that they pop into my head):
1) Lennon Parham
2) Jessica St. Claire
3) Shannon O'Neill
4) Chris Gethard
5) Vacation Jason (He may be a little bit difficult to reach because he's always on vacation)
6) Ana Gasteyer
7) Thomas Lennon
8) Matt Besser
9) Matt Walsh
10) Andy Richter
11) Steve Martin
12) Scott Auckerman
13) Julie Klausner
14) Jason Mantzoukas
15) Kay Cannon
16) Paula Pell
17) Retta
18) Chris Pratt
19) John Lutz
20) Jimmy Fallon
21) Ellen Degeneres
22) Sherri Shepherd
23) Aziz Ansari

I'd also like to add that it would be KICK ASS if Tina Fey and/or Amy Poehler called me or emailed me or something on my birthday, but they're too busy to be tweetin' and I have no idea how a person might contact them. I'm sure Paula Pell or Kay Cannon would know.

So, spread the word. Send them this blog. I want this birthday to be more than just the bonfire reunion with all of my high school friends. I mean, that's going to be totally awesome and such a Mississippi thing to do, but c'mon! THESE ARE COMEDY GODS AND GODDESSES! AND IT'S MY GOLDEN BIRTHDAY! It only happens once in a lifetime.

Thanks in advance.

Oh, I forgot to add that my email address is mamcleod01@gmail.com and my twitter handle is @mcowpatty89. Celebs, you can find me on Facebook (Madison McLeod, the one from Fulton, MS with the UCB cover photo), And if you want to call me, direct message me on Twitter and I'll give you the digits.

I look forward to reading your birthday wishes.

Why Liz Lemon's Marriage Gives Me Hope

After seven seasons of hopeless love interests, Liz Lemon is finally getting married.

And I couldn't be happier. I mean, I honestly want to throw an engagement party for her at my house. Like, for real.

"But Liz Lemon isn't real, Madison. She's a character on a TV show," you may say. And that's where I stop you and tell you, "No. She's much more than that."

Liz Lemon has taught me so many things in the seven seasons of 30 Rock: how not to buy an apartment; how to wear sexy librarian glasses; eating Mexican cheese puffs will make urine show a false positive on a pregnancy test. See, all these things are so useful! (Until you watch the series, you don't have any earthly idea how kick ass LL is and how hilariously horrible these life lessons truly are.)

So, why do I love Liz Lemon and why is her marriage such a big deal?

It gives me hope.

I've found many parallels between my love life and Liz Lemon's. I have never had the crappy boyfriend that plays Halo under the name "Slut Banger" (Dennis Duffy, Season 1, Ep. 6), even though he is by far my favorite boyfriend that she ever had, but I have had crushes on younger guys (Season 2, Ep. 7), had a thing for a pilot (Season 4, Ep. 22), had a really attractive boyfriend (Season 3, Ep. 10), and have been called a lesbian (Season 1, Ep. 3). All these terrible relationships made Liz Lemon who she is. She is a career woman who has created her dream job and didn't want the troubles of relationships hindering her from achieving her goals. But she's always been a little bit lonely. Deep down she's wanted the troubles of a relationship, but she let herself get in the way of finding Mr. Right. It's not until the finale season that she meets the man of her dreams: a pretty boy who owns his own hot dog cart.

So, Liz's marriage in season 7 gives me hope. It gives me hope that someday, if I decide to give my heart away, some street vendor will be there to take it.

Golden Birthday Plans

It's almost the holiday season, so that means you'll be seeing a few more posts on Arithmetic Mean. 

More importantly, November 23, 2012 marks my golden birthday, and I have absolutely nothing planned. 

I need your help. Could you give me some ideas?

That is all. 

Also, I've been creating this kickin' playlist on Spotify. You should subscribe.

Hodgepodge

Boating with Sean

The chosen few. You know! The friends that you can go weeks, months, or even years without seeing, but when you all get together, it seems like no time has passed since your last congregation? Yeah, I have that group, too.

If you know anything about me, you know that Mississippi Governor's School has had an enormous impact on my life. My summers revolve around it, and I try to use the experience to calibrate my soul. I am able to be myself at MGS, and in the process, I am able to make true, lifelong friendships in a matter of weeks--the kind of friendships that are so pure and so concentrated that the bonds are made in less than three weeks and would take a lifetime to sever.

I spent this weekend with some of the most amazing people on this planet, all of whom I met while working at the wonderful institution that is MGS. We like to all get together whenever we can, which typically means major holidays when we can get off of work or out of school. And this weekend, a bunch of us got together for a fun- and relaxation-filled weekend at Holmes County State Park in Durant, MS.

The weekend consisted of the following:
1. Laughing
2. Story-telling
3. Political/Religious Discussions
4. Sleeping
5. Lounging out in the hammock
6. Floating in the lake
7. Laughing
8. Enjoying each other's company
9. Laughing

Yeah. We're good friends. I mean, who else can you have religious and political discussions with and still have laughter listed three times on the list?!

Let's focus on number 6 for a minute. (Oh, by the way, 6 is a perfect number. During the weekend, Sean and I tried to find all of the perfect numbers out of the first ~30 positive integers. We won.)

So, JJ brought this kick ass inflatable raft to the reunion. It looks like a mini white-water raft for two people. On Saturday, we took a cross-lake voyage to classrooms and porch-swings on the other side.   After we finished, Abigail and Megan took the raft for a spin. Then, it was taken inside to slowly deflate in the cabin for the rest of the night.

Being a boat/water enthusiast, it hurt my soul to see the poor thing deflated in front of the fireplace, so on Sunday, I pumped that baby back up and hauled her down to the pier. Sean met me on the dock, and we both hopped in for an adventure. I hadn't anticipated was Sean's accompaniment because he had been busy doing homework all morning, so I only brought one oar down to the water; the other was still in the cabin with the "Extreme Couponing" quantity of cookies. So, off we go, out into the open water with one oar and a steady, 15 MPH north-wind.

You know what happens when you only have one oar and the wind is stronger than the paddling? You go with the wind. And fast. The couple on the '87 Fischer flat-bottom fishing boat knew that, and they taunted us as I tried to paddle against the wind. After giving the paddle to the much stronger and experienced Coastie, as well as trying to paddle with both of my arms, and failing, we decided we'd float to the other end of the lake and climb up the bridge/walkway that crossed the north finger of the lake. Sean and I enjoyed the time out on the water in the wind and sun; we discussed our relationships and told stories about similar situations. We would occasionally stick the paddle in the water to steer us toward the middle of the bridge and not the snake-infested grass on the bank. Neither of us like alligators or snakes, so we weren't going to go looking for them in that grass. No way, Jose.

After 20 minutes, or so, of floating, we finally got to the bridge. I say, "Aw, yeah. We're gonna T-bone this bitch," meaning that I would try to maneuver the boat so that the middle of the boat would t-bone one of the pilings of the bridge to stop us from going any further, especially into the real snaky-looking part of the lake. (That is the only portion of this boating trip that went as planned, by the way) When we smacked the piling, Sean held on to it while I tied a rope to the boat and to the walk-way of the bridge, which was a good 5 feet above the surface of the water. I tried to pull myself up onto the bridge. "This shit ain't workin," I frustratingly and jokingly said to Sean. "Well, I can definitely pull myself up if we can steady the boat," he said. I tied another rope to the stern of the boat and to the walkway of the bridge. Stability, check. We're almost there.

And just let me say right now that those jack-a-loons in the fishing boat never came to check on us! They just sat out there fishing and probably laughing at us.

After much more giggling and cursing, Sean scaled the piling of the bridge and made his way to the top. I followed behind, mimicking his every move. Yay! We're both safe! "Um, that paddle is going to fall out when we try to lift this," Sean said in an informative and concerned tone. "*&^%," I replied. I crawled back over the railing of the bridge and back into the raft to grab the paddle, and then I climbed back up the bridge. We untied the rope from the walkway and hoisted the raft up on top of the bridge. We took a quick breather to reflect on the sanctity of life and to literally catch our breath because, if you recall, we have just performed a feat of strength and maneuverability. We then carried the raft on top of our heads the entire half-mile (not an accurate distance) through the woods back to the cabin...and we didn't take a resting break!

I have been sore all day today because of this, but I'm glad that we went on this adventure. We had some good bonding time in the boat talking about our daily lives, and we overcame obstacles and worked as a team at the same time. Over the past two years, Sean has become my closest friend, but I hadn't really realized how much we are in sync until yesterday.

I wake up every day thanking (in my mind) my mom for making me go to Governor's School. If I hadn't been a scholar in 2007, I'd never have met amazing people like JJ, Lea, Abigail, Megan, and Sean, and I sure wouldn't have a great story like this.

Life Lessons

As most of you know, I've been in Ruston this summer working for my professor/advisor. I've spent a lot of time in a windowless lab making 3-D models on an online CAD program and printing them out with a MakerBot Replicator. Here are a few of the things I've made...

In addition to making toys, I've been going around the state of Louisiana talking to doctors, rehab engineers, prosthetics and orthotics technicians, and other health care professionals about problems that we might could solve with senior design projects. This traveling involves 4-5 hours of riding in a car with Dr. O'Neal and, sometimes, one of his grad students, Austin. During this time, there is endless conversation about the people we're going to be talking to, future projects, Netflix, my classmates, career goals, Coolio, space travel, and pretty much anything else you can think of. However, my favorite segment of the car ride conversation is "Life Lessons". I really can't explain the conversation behind these life lessons because, frankly, I never know how we wind up talking about this stuff. But I just want to share with you the 8 Life Lessons I've learned this summer.

These are direct quotes.
1. "Get married and stay married; it's emotionally and fiscally beneficial."
2. "In a male dominated workplace, wear an engagement ring to keep from being harassed."
3. "Find something you like to do and find a job that matches those skills."
4. "Don't date a man who lives in a 32' trailer in a state park."
5. "If you don't know what to do by age 22, it's okay."
6. "Pick a career that you won't despise getting up and going to every day for 30 years."
7. "If you don't know what to do, find somebody who does something cool and do that."
8. "You don't have to wear shirts in Australia...because it's hot!"

Okay, so, the last one needs explaining...
He was sending me an e-mail with stuff to add to the senior design webpage. He says, "Okay. I need to send this to Madison McLeod--oh, wait! You need to watch this show on Netflix called 'McLeod's Daughters.' It's an Australian show, and my in-laws are crazy about it." So he stops sending the e-mail, opens up Wikipedia, and starts reading the plot of the show. From wiki, he goes to IMDB where he finds a picture of the cast, and all of the men are shirtless. That's when he spit out life lesson # 8.

I hope that this short post is just a teaser of the adventure that I've had this summer. It's been a blast.